Thoughts

Last night was a very eventful night. My grandmother's soon to be ex-husband called and started drama. Now this is nothing new but he hasn't done so in awhile. He had stopped for two or three months and now has started again. Sometimes I feel as if he does some of this to just be a pain but my golly I wish he would stop. I don't like the way he gets my grandma all upset and crying. I don't like how he has her terrified to leave her house. Last night also served those as a reminder to why I am moving away. Because of his threat which he made again last night. That once his no contact order with my mom and I ends in July he will find us no matter where we move. I know him good enough to know that as much as he likes drama he wouldn't leave Hillsville Virginia and come to Tulsa Oklahoma. He wouldn't travel 991 miles to come and find me. But if I stayed in Virginia he sure as heck would drive as far as he could to find me.

How I came to Orthodoxy

 I am writing this because I have had my grandmother ask me a few months ago how come even though I was raised pentecostal that I am now leaning more towards Eastern Orthodox Christianity. My answer really isn't that hard or easy but it is because I feel more at home, if that makes sense. I feel more welcomed by the people who are orthodox. I know the Greek Church I have been to twice here in my home state, the first time I went back in August of 2009 I met the priest and his wife and then my mom and I went again in May of 2010 and the priest and his wife remembered our names still. I have never found that to happen in a pentecostal church at all. Except maybe the one I was raised in as a baby until the age of 7 or 8 and that I still have family at. Though that church that I grew up in is now full of people who gossip and would not think twice to lay judgement on anybody who walks through the door. I like that when I go to an orthodox church I feel like I am welcome and not being judged. I like feeling like I can truly worship Christ without people talking about me behind my back.

Though coming to Orthodoxy was no small journey. It was a long Journey that started like I said a Pentectostal setting. I was born and raised in a Church of God. My family on both sides goes to Church of God and both my great-grandmother's were so set in their faith. I went to one Church of God from the time I was a baby to about 7 or 8. Then my mom switched churches because of something that was said by another church goer about my sister who is handicap. At 7 or 8 we went to another church and we stayed at that church for a few years I believe up until I was 12 or 13 and the reason we quit going was mainly because of me. I started to turn to Wicca. My family thinks it was because of peer pressure but there was none. It was of my own doing. I think I dabbled in that for at least two years maybe three. After the whole Wicca thing I started going to church again this time as a third Pentecostal Church. I liked the youth there and even made friends with some people there. But it was then that I started realizing that half the youth there were ones who went to Church Sundays and Wednesdays and the rest of the week at school they never once acted like they even stepped foot in a church. After a few months in that church I got back into Wicca for another few months, then I developed a crush on a guy who went to an Assembly of God church. I stopped the Wicca stuff for good after going to his church in 2007. That church really was the best church I had attended. Though we only went for three to four months. I stopped going there because I told the youth pastor about two of my friends doing drugs and they got mad at me and things sort of were tense.

Once we quit that church we sort of just stopped going to church all together. We only went to revivals of a televangelist I like named Perry Stone. That was usually just once a year. But in late 2008 I started reading the blog of a christian woman and that was when God laid it on my heart to start trying to go back to church again, though I felt like he wasn't calling me to go back to Pentecostal churches. That was when I started checking around on Itunes at podcasts of different denominations. I just so happened upon a few orthodox ones and found myself wanting to know and learn more. The more I learned the more I found myself fascinated.  I knew in my heart that this was what God was calling me too. Though I didn't go to my first Orthodox Church until 2009, mostly because I had to convince my dad to let my mom drive an hour from our house. Going to that church and participating in the service was what I had needed. It was what I had been missing and a part of me believes the reason I turned to Wicca two times was because I was missing something in the Pentecostal Churches. I was missing the feeling of being at home in a place of worship. I was missing the feeling of feeling like I belonged.

I know this probably doesn't make much sense as it is a bunch of rambling but I just needed to get it down for me.

First Post

This is my first post. I am twenty-one year old girl who currently lives in a small town called Hillsville in the good ole state of Virginia. In April or May of this new year my mother and I are relocating to Tulsa, Oklahoma because of some issues that arrised this past summer. My mother may not stay with me but I am for sure staying for good. We did visit back in September and I fell in love with it there. It was such a very beautiful place.