Depression

I touched briefly on my last post about our move being delayed. That delay has caused me to be come more depressed then I already was. I have suffered from depression since I was in middle school and it is a roller coaster ride. Some years I am fine, other years not so much. This year and last year were some of the bad years. This year the no contact order ends in July and my step-grandfather promises once it does he will be down her ready to hound us and will hound us the rest of our lives...til he dies or we die as he says. I am so scared that at this rate we won't be gone by July. That come July we will still be down here and on the day it ends he will come down here and start his crap. Which he never really stopped. We know he still comes down here and prowls around or at least he did til it started getting cold. But thanks to the messed up justice system we couldn't do anything unless we had actual proof like in a picture that he had been down here. They couldn't even use the fact that my mother and I once saw him peaking through my grandma's windows when we were outside. I am terrified of this man so if we are still here in July I am not sure what I will do. My depression will be probably be even worse, especially if he starts bothering us.

Afraid of letting others down

So I have been going to a pentecostal church recently. Mainly cause the closest orthodox church is a hour away. I am afraid though that by doing this I am giving people in my family false hope that this is where I plan on staying at. It isn't. Once I move to Tulsa(which has been moved back a few months or really sort of just a month extra now) I do for sure plan on going to an orthodox church. I no longer consider myself to be pentecostal even if I was raised pentecostal. This may upset some of them that I say that and I am sorry for that.