How far is too far

So that church I love so much in Tulsa I have been informed by my close friend is attended by someone who was/is in a boy band. They were popular in the nineties. I was never a fan of theirs so I have no clue who is who in this band.

Apparently from what else my friend has said is that the boy band member may no longer attend as fans have started going to that church. I have no clue how true that is as I never once saw any one out of the ordinary both times that I went. But that begs the question how far is too far when it comes to famous people.

Prayers for a friend

Was just wondering if everyone could pray for a dear friend of mine. She goes to the orthodox church I love in Tulsa. Her mother passed away on Saturday.

An Update

So I haven't done a life update in a while and decided to do one.

As I said once we were supposed to move to Tulsa in April or May of 2011. That fell through. When we went to Tulsa in April for a visit my grandma's envoy broke down. Her transmission literally went on us. We had to get it towed back which cost about  a thousand and some dollars. My grandpa(not my step-grandpa) had to come and get us and my aunt came along to help him do the driving. I got blamed for that from my dad who moved back with us after his girlfriend kicked him out. I was blamed because it was my idea to take the trip...though my grandma didn't know she was supposed to have the oil drained from the transmission from time to time..at least I think that was what the guy said was why the transmission went.

After we came back we had my dad's van for awhile but just a month or two after that his transmission went in his van. I think the heavens for my grandpa because he let us use his car. We finally got both cars back in October. But sice we used so much money getting my grandma's car towed back and also because we were using my grandpa's car we had to put the move off.

We did sorta move though just not out of state. After my grandma's divorce from my step-grandpa was final she had to put her house up for Auction. We had thirty days to move. We ended up putting everything in storage and staying in Motels from August to September 23rd when we moved into a rental house. We signed a five month lease. I kinda hope we don't sign again because were we live is really in the middle of nowhere. You can't get good cellphone signals. All of ours roam constantly. Also my grandma is disappointed because no satellite service can get a signal down here either for tv. So we have to use a converter box, but that barely gets good signal either. It's because we are surrounded by really tall trees.

I am hoping once the lease is done that somehow I can get to Tulsa...my dad has made it clear he doesn't want to move there but I'd need someone to go with me to help me get settled and stuff. Not having moved yet is sorta making me depressed which probably sounds weird. I asked both my mom and grandma on Tuesday when they saw me the happiest and they said each time we have been in Tulsa. I am hoping I can get back there somehow and someway and I also need to hope for no more bad luck for our family when it comes to cars.

The church that I love

So I have only been to two orthodox churches. The one here where I live for now which is a Greek Church and then one I visit when I am in Oklahoma. It's a small Orthodox Church and I believe it's connected to the Orthodox Church in America. There is just something I love about it. I have only been to it twice. Once in September of 2010 and once in April 2011. But it has stolen my heart. The atmosphere there is just so calm and peaceful and the people are very sweet. It's called Holy Apostles.

Is it worth it?

Haven't updated in awhile but I figured I would just to get some thoughts off my mind.


Is it really worth it to date a friend's ex? Even if the relationship was an online one and lasted only two weeks? I only ask that because it happened to me. My friend hooked up with my online ex...It happened in 2008 but it's still a wound that is so fresh in my mind and in my being as a whole. They are no longer together either but I still find myself wondering everytime they talk if it will eventually one day go back....After almost four years it still one thing that bugs me. I am always fine when they go without talking but when they start talking I become some weird psycho in my mind with stupid paranoid thoughts. I hate to admit that about myself but it's true. I guess I am also partly jealous too..not because I like either romantically but because I feel as if their relationship is stronger then my relationship with either of them. I feel like a third wheel when they are friends and talking. Maybe because sometimes that is the case...I mean it could be my paranoia talking right now but there are times when it does seem like my friend is closer to my ex then she is with me. And I guess right now what isn't helping is the fact that my ex wants to meet my friend in person....I never expected that to ever happen and I never expected myself not to be okay with it. I'm not okay with the thought of them meeting...I'm not okay, therefore I have a problem. I can only hope they don't meet up....selfish I know but I am only human.

Depression

I touched briefly on my last post about our move being delayed. That delay has caused me to be come more depressed then I already was. I have suffered from depression since I was in middle school and it is a roller coaster ride. Some years I am fine, other years not so much. This year and last year were some of the bad years. This year the no contact order ends in July and my step-grandfather promises once it does he will be down her ready to hound us and will hound us the rest of our lives...til he dies or we die as he says. I am so scared that at this rate we won't be gone by July. That come July we will still be down here and on the day it ends he will come down here and start his crap. Which he never really stopped. We know he still comes down here and prowls around or at least he did til it started getting cold. But thanks to the messed up justice system we couldn't do anything unless we had actual proof like in a picture that he had been down here. They couldn't even use the fact that my mother and I once saw him peaking through my grandma's windows when we were outside. I am terrified of this man so if we are still here in July I am not sure what I will do. My depression will be probably be even worse, especially if he starts bothering us.

Afraid of letting others down

So I have been going to a pentecostal church recently. Mainly cause the closest orthodox church is a hour away. I am afraid though that by doing this I am giving people in my family false hope that this is where I plan on staying at. It isn't. Once I move to Tulsa(which has been moved back a few months or really sort of just a month extra now) I do for sure plan on going to an orthodox church. I no longer consider myself to be pentecostal even if I was raised pentecostal. This may upset some of them that I say that and I am sorry for that.